Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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