Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
