i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I need to sanitize my soul.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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