dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
