just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
It's official drugs can't kill me
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
