Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize