Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
