If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
