Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
