Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
