..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Randomize
