Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
