it was like his penis was on wheels.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
