do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
meet me or not, i'm out of control
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
