How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
