Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
