Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
