Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
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the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
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