I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
