i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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