Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
