Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
