No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize
