I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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