I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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