When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
