I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I currently don't understand fingers.
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