Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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