just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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