This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
