about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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