It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
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