I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
