i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
