Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
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