I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
