he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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