i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
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He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
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You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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