it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
time to smoke my breakfast
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
