He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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