sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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