Porn is love you can see.
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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