Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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