we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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