I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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