You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Randomize