I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize
