i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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