YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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