its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
