I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
