Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize
