What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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