By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
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