they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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