if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
