38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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