We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
