I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
