Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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