if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
