please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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