the new term for farting is butt boxing.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
how drunk are you?
Several
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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