I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
