No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize