STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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